As I inch closer and closer to seeing the village life from deep inside, I see the much deeper differences in attitude towards life and the situations that it throws at us. As an urbaner I have always looked at certain situations as 'oh so difficult' or even before the situation arises, I would have prepared internally that if that happens, these many problems would arise. My brain would have undertaken a thousand permutation and combination of what if this happens, then what could possibly happen and how would I survive that situation. The labyrinth of an urbaner's brain!!! Gosh!!
Having shifted to living in a village and married to a person who has been majorly in a village his entire life, I have seen an abysmal variation in the attitude of a villager. Their brains are not as complicated as ours and their attitude is more of 'we shall face it as it happens'. They are usually folks who do not sit and anticipate happenings in their heads. And no situation is grave for them. There are no parameters like easy, difficult and tough. They just do not have such measuring yards in their heads!!
Just to explain this theory better, let me share a life experience to you. In India we have a culture of a lady coming back to her mother's house for delivery and staying back for a certain period after delivery. In Kannada, we call this period 'Bananthana'. This period is very eventful and bustling for everyone in the house. Since, a mother and a new born are looked after carefully like a feather. There are certain rituals that are carried on everyday, like a oil massage for the baby followed by hot water bath given by two folks - that is one puts the baby on the legs and scrubs while the other pours hot water on the baby continuously. Post the baby, it is the new mother who is tended to. Even she is given hot water baths, best home-cooked foods and all possible rest. The whole household is running helter-skelter to make sure the new mother and baby are well rested and taken care of.
I have been a part of this process when my sister came home to deliver my nephew. This is that phase of life which bonds the family so tight that you share the welcoming of a new member and also, help a member to gear up for a new role as a parent. I have personally seen how hectic the events are even when we have non-stop water flowing in our taps, washing machine to wash the new born clothes, a maid to help us with all this and no other very urgent work than to take care of the mother-baby duo.
In the villages, the situation is just the same except that they do not have tap system at homes, the ladies need to collect water from the local community tap and carry utensils of water everytime. And post the water collecting duties, the household needs to look after their routine activities too - like milking the cow, dropping the milk to the local dairy which at times means a walk of a km or more to the collection point, tending to agricultural duties and the every day kitchen chores of cooking for the entire family. I was amazed when I heard my colleague who is a family of four plus the new born describe how they are growing radish, okra, maize on their 3 acre plot while tending to four of their cows, managing a day job and also having his sister and niece at home for her 'Bananthana'. And while he narrated all this, my face expression was like an exclamatory mark as to how do they manage so much of work and still have a smile on their faces to which his very nonchalant reply was it is a part of life, what can be done about it!?
I have seen this similar attitude with my in-laws too when we recently had a bad storm and many tiled roofs had been destroyed by the wind and rains. While I constantly kept grumbling about just one broken tile of our house and my brain was on hyper-tension mode, my mother-in-law whose house lost half her roof, was all calm and kept about her business of getting the roof repaired at the earliest before the rains and had no grumble or irritation on her face. And she has lived in that house her entire married life. She is least worried about the next day rains or the next year for the matter.
This whole scenario has put me in such deep contemplation about our attitudes and tendency to worry rather than face life as it comes. Whilst there might be a ton we can teach the villagers in terms of literacy, sanitation etc, we have more than a ton to learn in terms of how to lead life in a balanced way from them!
Having shifted to living in a village and married to a person who has been majorly in a village his entire life, I have seen an abysmal variation in the attitude of a villager. Their brains are not as complicated as ours and their attitude is more of 'we shall face it as it happens'. They are usually folks who do not sit and anticipate happenings in their heads. And no situation is grave for them. There are no parameters like easy, difficult and tough. They just do not have such measuring yards in their heads!!
Just to explain this theory better, let me share a life experience to you. In India we have a culture of a lady coming back to her mother's house for delivery and staying back for a certain period after delivery. In Kannada, we call this period 'Bananthana'. This period is very eventful and bustling for everyone in the house. Since, a mother and a new born are looked after carefully like a feather. There are certain rituals that are carried on everyday, like a oil massage for the baby followed by hot water bath given by two folks - that is one puts the baby on the legs and scrubs while the other pours hot water on the baby continuously. Post the baby, it is the new mother who is tended to. Even she is given hot water baths, best home-cooked foods and all possible rest. The whole household is running helter-skelter to make sure the new mother and baby are well rested and taken care of.
I have been a part of this process when my sister came home to deliver my nephew. This is that phase of life which bonds the family so tight that you share the welcoming of a new member and also, help a member to gear up for a new role as a parent. I have personally seen how hectic the events are even when we have non-stop water flowing in our taps, washing machine to wash the new born clothes, a maid to help us with all this and no other very urgent work than to take care of the mother-baby duo.
In the villages, the situation is just the same except that they do not have tap system at homes, the ladies need to collect water from the local community tap and carry utensils of water everytime. And post the water collecting duties, the household needs to look after their routine activities too - like milking the cow, dropping the milk to the local dairy which at times means a walk of a km or more to the collection point, tending to agricultural duties and the every day kitchen chores of cooking for the entire family. I was amazed when I heard my colleague who is a family of four plus the new born describe how they are growing radish, okra, maize on their 3 acre plot while tending to four of their cows, managing a day job and also having his sister and niece at home for her 'Bananthana'. And while he narrated all this, my face expression was like an exclamatory mark as to how do they manage so much of work and still have a smile on their faces to which his very nonchalant reply was it is a part of life, what can be done about it!?
I have seen this similar attitude with my in-laws too when we recently had a bad storm and many tiled roofs had been destroyed by the wind and rains. While I constantly kept grumbling about just one broken tile of our house and my brain was on hyper-tension mode, my mother-in-law whose house lost half her roof, was all calm and kept about her business of getting the roof repaired at the earliest before the rains and had no grumble or irritation on her face. And she has lived in that house her entire married life. She is least worried about the next day rains or the next year for the matter.
This whole scenario has put me in such deep contemplation about our attitudes and tendency to worry rather than face life as it comes. Whilst there might be a ton we can teach the villagers in terms of literacy, sanitation etc, we have more than a ton to learn in terms of how to lead life in a balanced way from them!
