Bleeding Bitch...

I brought home two puppies - male and a female, a while back. The puppies are from the lineage of 'Kombai', an ancient Indian breed. I got a male and a female with the intention of contributing to the resurgence of the almost extinct breed. My female puppy is around 6 months and looks like a puppy even now. So, when she started to bleed, I went into a mortal shock because I had zero clue on how to handle a bleeding bitch! My mind had pictured this scenario to be very far off in the future since she herself looked like a puppy to me.

We had not built the dog house yet as I already mentioned this bleeding event was very far off in my timeline of things. With no dog house and a male and a female dog at home - I learnt that I need to keep them separate as such a small female should not be allowed to mate until she is atleast 1.5yrs old. So, all this led to keeping the female puppy indoors with me most of the day. Hence, this blog is all about my 15 days period of staying in with the bleeding bitch of our house and ironically, I started to bleed too during this tenure!!!

Kenchi - the name of my female puppy (maybe I should stop calling her a puppy, now that biologically, her body is ready to raise puppies of her own!), she is as the cliche goes, the apple of our eyes. Since, she is the younger of the two dogs, my husband and I pamper her the most. While Ghata, the male dog is not allowed on our mattress, the rule is excused for Kenchi, while Ghata is admonished for jumping all over us when we go back home in the evening, Kenchi is smothered with love while she jumps all over us! So, one night, while Kenchi was languishing on our mattress with  my husband fondly petting her, I noticed a spot where she sat and suddenly, the entire day played like a flashback in my brain - Kenchi licking her private areas all through the day, she being aggressive than usual towards Ghata while playing. So when I read up on the internet about symptoms of a dog coming into heat, all these symptoms added up!

I panicked and started pestering my husband to get the dog house built in a day because at night, the dogs' sleep together in our living area and they could not, anymore! At least not for the next 15 days.
My demands being very unrealistic, we decided that I would spend the next day at home to get the dog house work started while keeping Kenchi indoors with me.

I observed a lot of changes in Kenchi while she underwent her first cycle of menstruation and I arrived at a consensus that she went through mood swings just like we do. Also, her appetite changed and she became clingy during this tenure - she is usually a dog who prefers to stay by herself and would not like too much petting and being by my side, but these 15 days she has literally become my fourth arm and when I leave her for work, she gives me those sad eyes. Trust me before this whole episode started, whenever I would leave for work, it did not bother her a bit, she would sit on the porch giving me the look which would mean -'Go where you please, it just does not bother me!'.

While both us - the bleeding females of the house, sat brooding at home, twisting and tossing on the bed with our myriad mood swings, the males went about doing their jobs - my husband to look after the store and Ghata to guarding the house!!

It has been more than 15 days now from the fateful moment of spotting the spot - she is still indoors most of the time but she seems to prefer that as she has been acting a little timid since the past 15 days. She was the brave warrior princess of our house who would not stop barking if a person just came near our gate. From such courage to now languishing in the house the entire day - what  menstruation does to us females, phew!!!

Basically, this entire 15-days "telenovela" has taught me a lot of things - menstruation problems are spread across species, mood swings are not limited to the humans and the lethargy I experience during my cycle which I would scold myself about is something I share with my dog and I am happy to know I have company :)

To us - the bleeding bitches in the house!!

Educated to being Un-Educated!!

I grew up attending a very well-to-do school, completed my graduation in a top-class University and have two letters CA prefixed to my name too - so I can safely call myself "educated" in all aspects, can I?

For folks who have read my old blogs, are well aware that I stay in a small hamlet now and for those of you who are reading my blog for the first time, I stay on a farm in a small village of Karnataka.

So what triggered this blog - yesterday my husband received this call from a guy in our village stating that some outsider was ploughing around 10 acres of land near our village. This plot of 10 acres is situated right next to our village where the cattle of the village graze. It is a rocky terrain with no water access and very slight chances of a successful borewell. This whole area around this plot is called as "Baare" by the villagers. Historically, this was the grazing land for cattle which belonged to the village as a whole. No individual was the owner for this ever!

Then, who was this outsider who was ploughing this, you ask? Well, one Mr.V has landed in our village claiming that he was granted this plot by the Government as compensatory land for the submersion of his land due to construction of Gorur Dam in 1986.

Not getting into the nitty-gritty of this situation, the whole purpose of narrating this story of Mr.V was to bring to focus the importance of having all age group in a community.
Luckily, my village demographics is very diverse - we have people who were well educated and have moved to the cities and who visit their ancestral house for festivals, we have the old generation of grandmas and grandpas living in the village always, and then we also have the generation between the age group of 30-50 because most of these folks have not completed their formal education. They have passed matriculation at the most I guess. So, with no better opportunities, they were forced to stay back in their ancestral village and look after their agricultural lands. Because of this staying back, we also have children in the village! I can safely say that we are a full house in terms of demographic diversity.

How is this connected to Mr.V's story, then? We were able to look into this Mr.V's papers and stand together as a village and demand him to go to court to claim this land as we had sturdy young population too in our group. If not, we had to expect the generation above 60 to look into this matter and could not expect much results as these people in our village are in the phase where they say - "Oh, we are in the last leg of our life, why should we now worry about those 10 acres! Let Mr.V plough that land anyways."

A similar situation happened in our neighboring village called Madenur, where the contractor who was alloted the jobwork to repair their roads, dug up the old road which was quite tenable and then realised that that road is not in his contract. He just left the road in worse condition than before and those folks just could not do anything, any guesses why!? That entire road houses families whose children are very well educated in the formal sense and are all settled outside the country or in big metropolis cities of India. The folks who stay there are whom I call Ajjis and Thathas - they are all aged above 70 for sure. Who would stand up and shout at the contractor when only such demography exists. The contractor so easily slid away!

This is a mirror depiction of the current state of all our villages. And when India is for sure 70-30 in terms of land ratio split between cities and villages - imagine how 70% of our land is left to the vultures to feast on with no guarding eyes or concerned hearts!

This time I will end my blog at this juncture so that you all spend sometime to think about the state of our villages and how they are being exploited due to dearth of 'chowkidhaars'!!!

Road of Responsibility...

It has been few weeks since I have started to visit our village Government school to teach the children whatever little English I know. And through this, I try to share my knowledge of the world and expand their mindsets too!
In this process, while I might have not taught them too much, they have taught me tonnes of things to which my awareness had not ventured before.

This school is a true depiction of a rural Indian Government Lower Primary School - there are only 9 kids in the entire school as most of the village children go to nearby private schools (called 'convents' in the village) and the school has only one teacher for all of them, by school I mean a single room building.

The first day of my visit came as a shock to my urban-grown private-school educated self because for me a school means a big building with a huge play ground, numerous classrooms, different teachers for each class and subject and a class full of at least 35-40 children.

Putting all this aside, I started to write this blog because I have started to notice the trending attitude of parents who presume their responsibilities towards molding their children ends with them sending the kids to school. The school has to fit this never-fully fitting shoes of responsibility of  molding the children to responsible, sensible and decent adults with just 6 hours everyday.

I have been observing the children of the government school and their families. The mother's schedule in the morning is to cook breakfast for the child and bathe them and send them off to school. In the evening, once the child comes back, their duty is to ensure they complete their homeworks, prepare for any upcoming examinations, prepare dinner and put them to sleep. Does this mean that the role of a mother is limited to only preparing meals and maintaining the schedule of their child? What happened to all the great stories where they emphasised that the child is molded majorly by the mother and her upbringing? Let me clarify that I am not penning this blog down to blame the parents and demean their parenting skills. I am writing this more with a questionable mindset which wants to examine the present education system and the family dynamics.

With the formal education being given such high value, the mothers in the village who majorly have not crossed middle school, have devalued their own roles in their child's life. They have labeled themselves as unworthy of grooming a child and depend irrationally on the sole teacher to carve and guide their child's future.

Out of my own experience and personal story, I say that irrespective of the mother being formally educated or not, a mother plays a godlike role in every child's life. The child's character, personality is immensely influenced by the family and more so by the mother.
While the rural mothers have devalued their roles, the fathers simply choose to be absent from their child's life in entirety. I hardly see fathers in the village be a part in their child's life except maybe to take them to cities during festivals and buy them new clothes. The only mention of fathers I have had from the kids so far is - "My father brought these new bangles for me or my father got me this new bottle". Except this I have not heard a single child say that her/his father played this game together or that the father narrated this story to them last night.

What has happened to the role of a mother and father in the rural setting is all thanks to the monstrous role of formal education stealthily becoming a larger influence than one's own family!

I have started a very tiny step in my village by trying to break this image of formal education and get back the parents role in their children's lives. I urge each one of you who reads this blog to give this topic further thought and take a step in any way possible and make a tiny difference in your child's or any child for that matter and make all the adults around a child realise that they also play a huge role in a child's life just as much as a teacher in the school does.

A child who can read ABCD or add up 2 and 3 or recite Twinkle Twinkle Star is not guaranteed to become an emphatic and sensible adult by themselves. They all need to see those qualities - especially creativity, sensibility, ability to help without expecting anything in return, in us adults who surround them outside of those 6 hours that they spend in the school.

Spend an hour narrating a story to a child, get the kids in your apartment block together and sing a song with them, put all the kids of your street together and take them for a hike to a nearby nature spot, help the kids around you to identify the local birds in your area, help them to see the beauty in life and not just read out ABCD from a book!

The Big Indian Family's self planned Europe Vacation - Part 1 of Berlin

Just like the title of this blog being so lengthy, our vacation was equally long when we consider its planning phase too!

As a family - mother, father, two daughters and their husbands and one grandchild, we did not want to go to a travel agent and book our Europe vacation with a pre-existing itinerary template. The motivation for this being my mother's aunt stays in Germany and my mother had not seen her for the past 40 years. Wanting to see her aunt was the major motivation to initiate this vacation for all of us. Why is the process of travelling abroad so complicated and frustrating? The endless documents we need to procure the visa - phew, I vowed to never plan a trip outside India!!!

Finally, after almost three months of planning by my sister and brother-in-law, my husband and I ended up in Qatar Airport waiting for the rest of the family to join us there with anxiety and excitement.

Thus, began our Europe sojourn!! To make this blog more realistic you need to know the age graph of the family to enjoy the subtle nuances that took place during the vacation. The father is in his late sixties, mother in her early sixties, the elder daughter in her mid-thirties, younger daughter in her late twenties, sons-in-law in their late thirties. The one and only grandchild is yet to complete 4 years!

When such vast range of age demographics travel together, it is bound to create an epic travel story.

The elder daughter from now on called D1, is a fashionista and an extreme brand conscious strong independent modern lady. In total contrary, the younger daughter, D2, is the dead opposite of a fashionista, simplistic strong independent modern lady. So stuck between two such contrasting daughters is the proud mother who just loves to show off the family that she has reared with such love and care for almost half a century now. The sons-in-law are called S1 and S2 respectively.

The love for history and his penchant for world wars landed the family touring historic places of Germany. Also, this is a middle class family whose tour is financed by the mother's ancestral money. Because the whole family believes in enjoying experiences and making memories together rather than having assets on papers, the ancestral money was put into creating family memories. D1 was the money flow checker who would calculate how much the family is spending during the entire trip. D1 and S1 are the only folks in the family who have had some international exposure during their study and work phase of life and were thus, burdened with the entire planning of the trip.

Enroute to Berlin, the family was served food by the air-hostess. It so happened that the food was served in the wee hours when everyone was not exactly wide awake. The mother happens to be a very strict vegetarian and the rest of the family are selective non-vegetarians. The mother and father sat together while the remaining were scattered behind and next to them. While we never know which is the purest form of English, I would say all of us speak accented English, including the air hostess that day! So while the children slept, the air-hostess has served food to the father and mother with the mother reiterating twice if she was being served vegetarian food. Thanks to the accented English, they still do not know who erred but the mother ended up eating a bite of something which till date they do not know what meat that was!!! The first non-stop laughter of the tour had begun only to be followed by zillions more.

While I am writing this, the television series called 'Dekh Bhai Dekh' flashes in my head as there is a part where the Big Indian family of that series make a UK trip and their experience was very much similar to ours. For folks who have not seen that series, you should watch it because it is hilarious as per the 90's measuring stick.

So, the family landed in Berlin and the first chaotic situation starts - the mountain of luggage they have to carry around! While they looked around for trolleys, they realised that they have to pay per trolley in Berlin airport and the money checker of the family is all high and alert. She emphasized that they fit all the luggage in maximum two trolleys. And the next question - how do they get to the hotel D1 has booked in advance for them. It is quite a distance for them from the airport and D1 did not want to splurge on a cab as soon as they had landed in Berlin and set an example for the family of this being an ultra luxurious trip!! So almost 30 minutes is gone while the family of 6 with a kid with two trolleys of mountain luggage walking from one point to the other trying to figure out whether there is a train or a bus to the area where their hotel is (You need to convert this blog into a film in your head to actually experience these situations - so make a father figure, a mother figure, two daughters, two sons-in-law and a kid with those trolleys and play this incident of a completely confused Indian family like a movie in your head - now did you actually get a picture!!??)
The father had to put his foot down after 30mins and say that they can afford a cab to get to their hotel rather than while away in front of Berlin airport itself!! So the next question - which cab would fit in 6 adults, a kid and the mountain of luggage, it was a Mercedes wagon - it was whoaaa moment for the family because for Indian Mercedes always has that whoa factor!!! The mother and father enter the cab with a matter of pride - the father's pride is because he is traveling in a Mercedes cab, a picture of which he can post on Facebook and the mother's pride is because she is traveling with her family in Germany in a Mercedes cab, the emphasis being on the family bit (the subtle differences between the thought process of a Male and Female 😉😉😉)
The family finally reached the hotel only to find out that they have reached earlier than their check-in time and if they need the rooms then that would mean extra charges. Thus, D1 stepped in and decided that they would place our luggage in the waiting room, roam Berlin and come back to check-in at the right time so that they do not end up paying extra charges. So with a lot of confusion - because they were all dressed to suit hot weather - since they all had departed from countries which had high temperatures, they started their sight seeing of Berlin.
This blog is not a travelogue and hence, I will not bore you with the places we visited, their history etc etc. I write this more as a collection of our memories - the times we laughed, the times we were embarrassed, the times we were confused and more.
Whilst the family were still planning the trip, they were warned by many Indians who had ticked off Europe trip on their bucket list that they had to be wary of pick-pocketeers, especially in Paris. When they stopped at a beautiful fountain square in Berlin, the mother and father were tired and chose to sit on a bench with the bag that contained our passports, Euros, cards and the grandchild's stuff. Oh, the entire women folk of the family were on high alert while leaving the bag with the mother. A person who was cycling and went around the bench twice or thrice became an object of suspicion and the mother pulled the bag closer to her body!
Finishing the first day of their long Europe trip, the family retired to their hotel rooms.
When the blog is about an Indian family, food is going to take the center stage for the major narration of the blog and the food stories of Berlin begin like this - with a lot of advice that food was a major expense in Europe, D1 was well prepared to save some Euros by carrying home food like Methi parotas, red chilly chutney, fruits for the family. The family had already splurged for lunch when they craved for some Indian food and ending up having a very heavy Indian lunch that cost quite a lot according to D1's budgeting. So, the family decided to have their parotas for dinner in the kitchen of their hotel itself. The breakfast in the hotel was mainly varieties of bread, jams, butter, sausages, cornflakes, hot chocolate, boiled eggs. The first day the family loved this breakfast and ate sumptuously but wait another two days and read what happens then!
Another interesting part of this trip was the intra-city travel the family opted for - they used the local trams, subways and avoided cabs at all cost (literally for the cost!). So, S1 brought a map the first thing and D2 was in-charge for Germany itinerary. She had basically written down the train numbers to get from one place to another and nothing else! The first subway journey was again as confusing as when they landed in Berlin airport. They walked back and forth to figure out which subway station should they go to, climbed up and down, with the mother tiring out but being a very good sport did not complain.
Berlin has even more stories to add - the beer stories, the concentration camp story, the bickering of the family and a whole lot of other stuff too! Keep checking in for Part 2 of Berlin to find out how the roles of D1 and D2 reverse and they parent the mother and father during their arguments which is just hilarious!

Soothing Solitude

Solitude - I still remember hearing this word for the first time in my life. I was in fifth standard and my English teacher was reading out a story which had this word in it. She explained the difference between loneliness and solitude - she said loneliness is a negative feeling of being alone whereas solitude was a positive feeling about being alone. That smaller version of me did not know that this word would occupy a center stage of my later life.

It has been two years now since I moved to the village and more than a year since we started to stay on the farm itself. Initially, the silence, the 'being alone', the wind, the birds mesmerized me. I was enthralled by the quiet, country life. Until the bug of loneliness bit me!!

I am not ashamed to put this out that I have gone through a very tough phase the last few months when being alone would cringe my body and mind. I had no one around to talk to except my husband because the village ladies and I find very less common topics to discuss - our talks are limited to what did I cook for breakfast, if we had tea or coffee and why I still do not have kids. Initially, I tried making some friends in the village but was completely discouraged when only these topics came up for discussion. I tried to chitchat with my father-in-law and mother-in-law but the topics too were a problem there. I still have not figured out why the men folk of the village do not talk to me. It is rather a practice that the men speak only to the men and women to the women folk. So the men folk would just put their head down and walk away if I came across their path.

I tried immersing myself into books, but after a while even reading tend to bore me out. Gradually, I became an addict of Amazon Prime and Netflix. I would complete series in a day or two. My body started to bear the brunt - I would wake up with a headache due to late night binge watching, my eyes started to dry out and I started to put on weight. A week or two into this binge watching, I started to lose interest in going to work, I would just lie on the bed whole day and watch some series on Prime.

A month like this and my mind could not take it anymore. It started to revolt - I started to cry out and would throw tantrums every now and then with my husband. Slowly the realisation creeped in that I need to pull up my socks and get my life back in rein. Thanks to a friend who gives me sound advice at the right moment, she asked to own up to myself and stop rolling around in the pity of loneliness.

I have started to visit our village government school and doing a weekly story reading sessions there. I am finding few other things to keep me occupied and let me tell you, it is making me return to my usual self.

SO, with this whole experience of being lonely, I have now reached the phase where the solitude is something I enjoy, I experience and I relish it!

This blog was not a mere ranting out of feelings but an expression that rural farm life is not all bliss all the time. It has its own ups and downs that we need to fight alone at times.

I have come across few people during my city life who were folks staying in their farms. When they used to visit us, they would talk non-stop and at times we found their talk irrelevant and meaningless. My family and I would try to discuss and understand why do they speak the way they do but we would end up with no answers. Now, today, I have the answer - when we are alone for a long stretch and suddenly put into the company of humans, your mind goes on a roller coaster fun ride. You have no clue of what to speak and where to stop. I have this experience now and totally understand these mannerisms. Only through meditation and a lot of observing my own thoughts am I now able to control my mind.

Festivals and functions are something everyone keep looking forward to and this has been a matter I questioned all through my childhood as I detested these events. I now understand why functions, festivals are such an event of celebration in the villages. This is the time there are people all around and it a matter of being joyous all the time with humans around. For a kid who grew up detesting functions and festivals, I have turned into an adult who now looks forward to these events as this means I get to interact with other humans who might share some common topics of interest!

So this has been my journey from loneliness to solitude and I hope each of you enjoy your own solitude every now and then!

Clutches of the Cattle..

In the village housing around 60 families, at least 50 families rear cattle and supply milk to the local co-operative dairy. Our government and the whole society as such is on the "promote dairy" and develop the rural economy mode. True that the rural economy is better off with the boom in dairy but at what actual cost.

Let me give you a deeper and closer aspect on how dairy boom has actually changed the entire rural scenario.

Villages in Karnataka comprise of small land holding farmers. A farmer on an average holds around 1 acre of land. This one acre is his main source of annual income that needs to provide for his family's sustenance, children's education, health care, festival celebrations etc. Along with all this the land now needs to provide for his cattle too! Since, rearing one cow would mean earning an average of Rs.4000 monthly for 9 months of the year, the rural folks look at cattle rearing as an easy way of earning.

But cattle rearing means the family has to be present every day for milking in the morning and evening. Also, they need to ensure that the cattle is provided with water in the noon. This means that the entire family needs to plan around the cattle. And since this is an easy way to earn, families have started to rear around 5-6 cows irrespective of whether they have land to grow the fodder or not. They buy cattle feed from the shops and stall feed the cows. I have seen families in my village who do not go on vacations, the entire family never attends a function together and can never take off an entire day. One member always stays back to look after the cattle.

My husband and I have started to play badminton on the farm every morning and evening. We are trying to find two more to join us to play dual matches but everyone has this to say - 'Oh we need to milk the cows at that time or we need to go deliver the milk to the collection point'! So that is when I started to wonder about if this entire dairy boom is actually worth the money it earns!

There is a certain portion of land around the village that belongs to the village as a whole and no individual. This is usually the area around the village lake. And I have been observing this land for the past 1.5 years and there hasn't been a single day that there is no cattle grazing on that land. I keep wondering if that land is ever allowed to breath, rest and rejuvenate? What about the grass eco-system on that land, is it getting eradicated because of this constant grazing? Presently, that land is getting converted into a thorny scrub jungle. While conversing with my husband, he mentioned that the land was never like that when he was a kid, it was a huge grassland with hardly any trees. And that is when I started to reason out that the entire landscape is being changed due to the dairy boom and no one seems to notice it at all! Grasslands are being converted into thorny scrub jungles and we are still promoting excess cattle rearing.

Oh, my neighbours are so in the clutches of their cattle they rear!